We will start by watching a video that defines assertiveness and then we will work on how we communicate with the group. 

We will end by discussing and agreeing on communication mechanisms to be applied in order to create a safe space within the group where people can express themselves.  

Step 1:  What is assertiveness? 

First of all we will throw some questions in the air: What is assertiveness? Are we assertive in our workplace? 

After listening to some reflections on the questions we will play the following video that talks about assertiveness and defines it: 

The Beauty of Assertiveness | Dr. Abby Hamilton | TEDxWestshoreWomen - YouTube 

After watching the video we will re-run the above questions to see if the answers change after defining assertiveness and giving some examples. 

Step 2:  Self-analysis 

To see if we really are an assertive person, we will carry out the following test individually (this test is not 100% indicative): 

1. I don't usually stay in the background, without giving my opinion. If I think I have a right to something, I express it. 

1. a) Always
2. b) Sometimes
3. c) Never

1. I have the ability to convince others to do things the way I want them to do, or things that I like or please me. 

1. a) Almost always
2. b) Sometimes
3. c) Rarely

1. People get what they want from me 

1. a) Never, if I don't agree with them
2. b) Sometimes
3. c) Always

1. I express my feelings or ideas clearly 

1. a) Most of the time
2. b) Depends on the situation
3. c) I never express what I feel

1. assertiveness, knowing how to say noI find it hard to say NO 

1. a) Never
2. b) Depends on the situation
3. c) I always find it difficult

1. If someone does something wrong, I keep quiet and don't say anything. 

1. a) Never, I always say that what happened is not right, if I think so.
2. b) Depends on the circumstances and the person
3. c) I always keep quiet

1. I block myself when others flatter me 

1. a) No, in fact I like it
2. b) Sometimes I do
3. c) I don't like to be complimented because I don't know how to react

1. People are more outspoken and honest than I am in their ideas. 

1. a) I don't think so, I usually stand out because of it
2. b) Sometimes, yes
3. c) Always

1. If at work you are asked to do a task, but you don't have time to do it 

1. a) I give the necessary reasons so that they understand why I won't do it
2. b) Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't
3. c) I always end up doing it

1. If I have to contradict someone 

1. a) I do it without any problem, always with respect and good manners.
2. b) I do it, although I recognise that it is very difficult for me
3. c) I don't usually contradict anyone, I don't feel comfortable with it.

ANSWERS 

Majority "a": You stand up for what you think and what you perceive as unfair without thinking about the consequences, because it is more important to you to respect yourself than anything else. You act with sincerity and honesty and feel confident in what you say and do. 

Majority "b": It seems that depending on the circumstances you have assertive or non-assertive behaviours. It is true that it is not always easy to defend our ideas, but it is also true that as we are able to be assertive in most situations we feel better with ourselves and with others. It would be interesting for you to evaluate why you decide to act sometimes with a more submissive style and sometimes with a more assertive profile, so that you can discover the factors that limit you and try to overcome them. 

Majority "c": From your answers you seem to have a less assertive profile. Rather, your style tends to be submissive or passive, i.e., you have little or no ability to express your ideas or desires and you always put the interests of others above your own. Assertive behaviour can be trained, which is why we encourage you to do so, as the benefits you will obtain will be great. You have the right to protect yourself and to express yourself in unfair situations. Failure to do so never leads to feelings of dejection and hostility. 

After self-analysing and comparing the results we will share them with the group to see if people agree with the results. This part will be completely voluntary and the results will only be shared if the person wants to. 

Step 3:  Role-playing 

Divide the group into small teams of 3-4 people maximum.  

Give each group a conflict situation to act out. While one group acts out the situation, the other group should think of ways to deal with the situation in an assertive way and tell the others how they should act. 

They will have to act out two situations outside the workplace and then they will have to think of two other situations that have occurred or may occur in the workplace. 

Stories or situations: 

1. You are a group of friends in the park thinking about where you can spend the rest of the afternoon. One of you wants to go to the cinema and the rest of you want to support each other, but there is one person who doesn't want to go. This person doesn't want to go because they don't have enough money for the ticket, but they are ashamed to admit it. By not giving reasons why they don't want to go, an argument ensues. 

1. You have to generate a group project and the boss asks you to decide who among you will be the coordinator. This role involves taking control of the whole project development and distributing tasks. Two people in the group want to be coordinators and do not give in, a discussion ensues. 

After representing the two previous situations and after the group has found an assertive solution to the conflict, the other groups that have generated the work situation will come out and we will do the same dynamic. 

Step 4:  We put into practice 

Finally, we will give each participant a list of tips on how to be more assertive: 

1. Recognise your value and accept differences 

Assertive people are people who have good self-esteem and are aware of their worth, otherwise it is not possible to express what you think and, at the same time, recognise that the other actors in the relationship also have their needs and opinions. Self-confidence must be high in order to be able to open up to others. 

1. Know your limits and respect them 

Knowing one's limits and respecting them is a very important step in becoming an assertive person. Assertiveness is about knowing how to say "no" when someone does not want to do something, but always respecting others. For this reason, it is worth making an effort to recognise the extent of our abilities so as not to take on unrealistic tasks. It is not only essential to know one's limits, but also one's rights. For example, to be treated with respect and dignity, to make one's own decisions, to rest, and so on. 

1. Learn that you don't always win 

Assertiveness is expressing one's opinions, but it is not about imposing them; in other words, it is not about winning every battle. To be assertive it is good to know what you want, but also what the other person wants. 

1. Aktywne słuchanie 

Sometimes we think we are listening to someone when we are actually hearing. In this sense, and especially in the case of assertiveness, we must listen actively. Active listening refers to not only taking into account the speaker's spoken message, but also his or her non-verbal language and emotional communication. For this reason, we should let the other person express themselves, we should not interrupt them with our opinions, nor should we think about the answer before they have expressed themselves fully. 

1. Be aware of the difference between assertive and aggressive communication. 

Many people think that verbalising their own opinions may be imposing their own judgement on others. However, assertiveness refers to how things are said, because although it is necessary to state one's point of view, it is also necessary to give objective reasons and not to belittle the other interlocutor. Assertive communication is not about being aggressive, nor is it about imposing one's own law.  

1. Watch your body language.  

Body language can represent up to 90% of communication, so it is not only important to watch your words but also your gestures. Saying one thing and expressing another with gestures often leads to passive-aggressive communication that destroys any chance of understanding. 

1. Improves emotional intelligence 

Assertive people are aware of their emotions and know how to regulate them, which is why they are good at relating to others. 

In this sense, being emotionally intelligent is key, since empathy is one of its basic components, which is decisive when it comes to understanding and adequately managing how another person feels. 

We will end the session on an individual basis, each of us will have to set short-term goals to become more assertive in the workplace. 

Learning outcomes (for the trainer/teacher) 

At the end of this WebQuest, the facilitator can use these self-reflection questions to find out how the participants felt about this activity: 

• What did you learn from this activity, can you name 3 things?  
• How does assertive communication have a positive impact on your work environment?   
• Can you name one tip for being more assertive that you think will be easier for you to apply? Why? 
• What do you think is the most important thing you have learned today that you can take back to your work life?